Logdate six: Afraid of death, afraid of life.

This is a continuation to Logdate Five.   As much as I would like to “die” and explore new worlds, I… am a coward. I cannot take my own life, no matter how much I’d like to.   I love my family and the thought of losing them… it hurts me. I cannot make them sad, no matter how much I might think they deserve it. I know they love me, heck, my father says that I’m the best son he could ever have. I cannot leave them… I… I just can’t.   I can’t just leave all my progress behind. I just can’t.   But at the same time, I am afraid of life. I am afraid of other people… I am afraid of… everything… I guess. I am afraid of the what if’s. What if I get judged? What if one of my parents die? What if they BOTH die? I just… don’t know what to do or even think. Does that make sense?   I’m sorry for my tantrum yesterday, everyone. I just needed to write in my journal how I felt and finally get it out of my system.  

Thank you for reading this post. I appreciate it.

 

-Luca